So the third occasion I was robbed by the Police…

Almaty; boozy night, walking home.

Cross the street but didn’t quite get the lights right so had to run…

… straight into the arms of the law!

“Passport?”

No Officer I don’t carry it because if I were to lose it I could be stuck here for months while the jolly chaps at the Embassy and Passport office sort it out.

Well that was what I wanted to say.

“Niet! No passport!”

“ID?”

Well here we are Officer; I have my UK driving licence in my wallet.

He swooped on my wallet as it emerged from my pocket, moths escaping into the cool night air.

He grabbed my driving licence, went to his car, returned;

“Ok!”

They disappeared instantly. When I checked my wallet I noted with some deep joy that ten thousand Tenge had also disappeared (that’s about £33 at today’s rates – not bad!)

“All the crimes committed, day by day
No-one tries to stop it in any way
All the peace makers turned war officers
Hear when I say
He-he-he-he-he-he-hey”

Junior Murvin