Oh what can ail thee Lana Scan?
Alone and palely loitering?
Come and sit beside the Lake,
And listen to me sing.
“Heaven knows when I might see,
A Monkey in The Banyan Tree,
Coming down to look at me
Offering a cup of tea.
“In times gone by I used to cry
As Camel boys spat in my eye.
Now I feel with an awesome sigh,
Thank God those days have passed me by.
“Then I think upon this Great Globe,
Suspended from my earlobe
Is a painful Periodontal Probe,
And a man dressed in a bloody Thobe.
“It gets me up, it gets me down,
The stairways in this cold Town.
Seventeen Baboons, a horse and a Clown,
It makes Commuters stop and Frown.
“I wonder at the sycophants gall,
Who lied his way into the Ball,
I’ll ask a Gibbon, lean and tall,
To smash his Head against the wall.
“Then came an Ass , an erstwhile Leader,
I said he’s just a fucked up Bleeder,
Duplicitous bastard – Journal Reader,
Definitely a Bottom Feeder.
“Six times a day I’m out of my class,
Gathering paper to shove up my Ass.
Those Work Generators totally Crass;
Dossers have reached a Critical Mass.
“None can touch me, Old and Wary,
Not even Fat Bum, big and hairy,
We zipped through the trees – very scary,
Some kids and us; Peter and Mary.
“And just this week the World went Moony,
Inflated egos rap till Noony.
But I don’t care because I know soony,
I’ll share some wine with a Fairy loony.”
And so sweet Lady in the Meads,
Full Beautiful – a Fairy Child.
Come buy a beer, any kind;
Lager, Bitter or even Mild.