Gutter: SNipe: Pimp

Fifth step to Madness.




Three word Slogan,

All you need,

So you Justify,

Your Personal Greed.




Mad Anna called me twice today.

We ate tea, Smoked Wine, Drank Cakes,

Walked on Lakes for Heaven’s sake.

“There! Is a Bull in a Fence!”


There was a time,

In the time before time,

When nothing would rhyme,

Which is a rhyme crime in the Sea of Time?

“Time to go?”

“I’ve had most of mine!”


Lowdown, Why do you feel so bad,

The virus took away, The best friend I ever had.


He didn’t do it right!

It’s a pile of shite!

I can’t go on like this!

Taking the piss!


Everyone is up for sale

Traffic for this young female;

I’m sure your heart is thumping,

Let’s get out the way, he’s Trumping.

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Gutter: Snipe: Pimp

Fourth step to Madness

That bird flew in to his nest;


Da! Boozer!

TV documentary deleted,

Summer dreams all defeated,

Conversations not completed;

Empty minds in charge and seated.

“I thought we could fly?”

“I wish I could fly!”

“But I won’t try.”

“I hate that guy.”

I can tell by his drunken knows!

No – Cavernous scars mean too many bars!

Isn’t that so? 


She got me in the German heartland,

Beer and coke so the Major told me.

Sniping in the gutter.

Buried deep with another nutter.

Slotted two from his Church Yard,

Bless you Father; bereavement card.

Ludicrous Karma took him too,

Body disintegrated,

He didn’t go home that night,

Or many nights later.

El Pimp Erupted!

Lava Flow!

“Where you ever in a serious fire?”

No, my sweet, just in love.

She smiled the beguile,

So, I waited a while,

Her business soaring,

Me just boring.

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Gutter: Snipe: Pimp

Third step to Madness.

Confusion contusion,

Arms caught in the door,

Fingers stuck in the floor,

“I’m homeless and it’s war!”

We didn’t get old with the band of gold,

Not to the end, my first friend.

Turtle dove, My first love

Military Hardship, my correction,

No direction,

No reflection.

You left too soon.

I wanted to see you in a state of grace,

Three boys standing at the altered place.

Renewing, Re-vowing,

Loving and bowing.

But you left too soon!

Too soon!

Me to, Soon.

Timor Mortis Conturbat Me.

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Gutter: Snipe: Pimp

Second step to Madness

Look at this lass,

She’s a Brass.

I can set you up,

My aging pup.

Crawling down the corridor of fun;

This girl;

This room.

Was there lime in the coconut?

Did you drink it all up?

Eight track detachment, tied to the bed.

Three screws, two speakers, one love.

Black and white sneakers,

Heaven seekers,

At my door, Brain Damage sorted.

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Gutter: snipe: Pimp

(For Anna)

First step to Madness


Again, she came back from the dead.

Dead Loves.

Death leaves,

In the gutter.

I waltzed by the waters of the Caspian Sea,

Drowned Diesel Surface,

Waiting for me.


“How do you do?” we said.

“Well then, let’s go to bed!”

Miss Understanding.

Quite Out Standing,

On the Landing Stage.


They told me I would a famous son,

Once my perfect life undone.

“I woke up on the fifth flaw.

Tender on Tinder;

Tinder box burning in the flames of passport love.

Gutter full of Politicos and apparatchiks.

Sniping and Carking,

Laughing and barking.

Dogs of doom in the Common room.

“Jolly Boating Whether,

Let’s all steal together,

The demon is a player,

Charge the poor, taxpayer.”

Was that an aside or did you put your morals aside.

No; beside.

Landing in an alien world,

Chasing all the local girls,

Fun and night and party Twirls,

In the mess my ethics whirls.

Save me from the Essex girls.

Was it a mistake?


Or exit phase one.

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Trans-Uranic Elements: The Dark Side of Uranus

This is the second outing for Fairy Hanny, after proving herself to be the heroine who helped to cure Peter The Pixy of his Piles.

This time she is called in to help solve a problem in Time. She joins the company of Two Time Travellers and Two Elfs on the way to Witchland, though they aren’t sure which land is Witchland.

Mad Tom and Mad Magdalene (Maudlin) have travelled through Time to find out who is messing about with the Space-Time continuum, with the intention of putting a stop to these shenanigans. They have picked up the company of two Elfs – Ken Tucky and Wayne Down – who only seem to speak Elvis. These two plonkers are a pair of chancers who are also basically cowards!

Hanny directs them to the port of Hlither Poler where they can meet the Sankyu Fairies and get help to visit Witchland,

With the help of Admiral Bell Bottomed George and the wonderful Sankyu Fairy Mutch, they get up to all kinds of japes and scrapes.

There are Kraken, A Bargee Dwarf called Mr O’Nighon, Steve from Aldeburgh, Ferocious Teddy Bears and the winking wan King of the Witches, Grumbleflick.

You will be thrilled!

You will laugh!

You will cry!

You will ask why?

And maybe fly with a pork pie!

None of this will happen until I finish the damned editing!!!

So dear Reader, urge me on!!

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Strange Things From Uranus

I love to boost it !!!
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Going through Changes

It has been a year of change.

There I was going to my teaching job every day, wishing I had a job where I could work from home…

But it wasn’t teaching.

No human interaction.

No girls crying.

No boys farting.

No managers whinging … oh no that didn’t change.

But I couldn’t go out!

SO I started blogging more.

Then at the end of June I got a chance to move to a house close to the Ocean in Dar Bouazza, which is just to the west of Casablanca, Morocco.

Great – no internet for the first month, by which time I had lost my momentum on daily posts.

It has now taken me two and a half months to get going.

And what got me going was quitting my job and finding a new one in Central Asia.

A few years ago I lived in Almaty, Kazakhstan and had a great time. Great restaurants, bars, Opera, Live Music, Mountain walks, skiing in the winter and some of the most beautiful women in the world.

Soon I will be in Baku, Azerbaijan, a short trip across the Caspian Sea from Kazakhstan.

When this wretched virus abates I will be able to take weekend trips to Almaty to catch up with old friends.

Sometimes life kicks you so you can appreciate the uplifting times.

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Mines a pint cried the fat man.

No need to cry, it’s on its way!

Ready in five came the steadfast reply.

Bitter today?

Idiots causing life to change;rumi


Look at your hairdo, your suit, your beard!

Stupid old man!

Move on to move on,

Lucrative styling, ludicrous style.

Grab the cliché and find an island in the sun.

Is it possible?

Will she come with me?

Or do I leave her with the sausage makers,

Their height of creativity a Cumberland?

Cumbersome travels.

Move on to move on!

She said it again; I listened.

It glistened;

The island in the sun.

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TV Channel 15.

I sit in my square

And often I stare

At the box that lies by the fire.

A man with daft hair

Is talking in there

And it´s obvious he is a liar.


The words pour out

A whisper, a shout

Though all has been said before.

Talk of false love

The Eagle as a dove

Pure white with a crippling claw.

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