Well we’ve still got three weeks before school finishes for the summer. However the attitude of many of our students seems to be Exams are over so I’m not coming to school anymore. This is made worse by the fact that next week is Eid and so school is closed for the week; then we have one week back and boom – summer holidays!
Bonus of course is that Screwloose, Princess Bulbhead, and the Bespectacled Toad have all given up. Will I ever have the pleasure of those angry looks from the Bulbhead? Or watch the weird shenanigans of Screwloose? And listen to the endless excuses from the Toad and his Mother? Of course I will because they exist in other year groups too!
I remember at teacher training college completing my PGCE we had a Sociology session with an ex-teacher. Now, bear in mind that my first degree is B.Sc. in Applied Physics, then maybe you might get why Sociology seemed odd to me! Anyway, as we sat down the lecturer gave us all a printout showing Disney’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Imagine a roomful of Physics, Chemistry and Engineering graduates having that sort of thing placed in front of you and then being asked to comment on it.
“It’s Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs,” said some bearded odd-bod.
“And?”
We were lost; why had this idiot put this printout in front of us? Was he going to show us the movie? (It would have been on a VHS tape in them days!)
We looked to him expectantly.
“That will be the people in every class you teach in the future,” he said.
It didn’t make sense at the time but after many years of reflection it makes perfect sense.
Snow White is the Goody two shoes that comes along, snitching on all the other kids in the hope of getting in the teachers good books – horrible child. Doc is the smart kid who answers every question before the others get a chance – horrible child. Dopey never has the right books or equipment and spends the first ten minutes of every lesson trying to sort himself out – horrible child. Grumpy is that kid who always just complains about doing any work and constantly says when will I ever use this in real life? I always ask them if this is their real life or are we really living in The Matix? Another horrible child!
Then there is Bashful who is good at Maths but has little self confidence and so only lets you know they got everything correct at the end of the lesson – a nicer child. And then we have Happy, that kid who has two left feet and shit for brains but somehow manages to just enjoy life; if he lost an arm in an accident he would boast that he still has another one. Another kind of nice child! Sleepy will never admit that he has been up half the night playing on his X-Box or PlayStation, who will be backed up by his parents when you say he doesn’t stay focussed in class – Maybe your lessons aren’t interesting enough. A real little horror from an unpleasant home!
Then we have the most annoying kid of all – Sneezy! There is constant noise of bubbling snot, coughs and sneezes without covering his mouth, usually saying he has a cold or allergies or asthma or something. When asked about medicine he doesn’t have any and hasn’t seen a doctor all year. This kid never seems to have the ability to see the link between his sneezing and all the other kids going off sick. Also, Sneezy is constantly asking to go to the toilet.
Of course the original story by the Brothers Grimm didn’t have the same name and it was a little darker than the Disney version, just like working in a school is darker than you are told at Teacher Training College.
So I can recognise another Bespectacled Toad in year 7, another Screwloose in year 8, and several other Princesses in other year groups who feel they are better than the rest of us. Now that the older ones have decided not to come to school any more, I am sure these other little annoyances will pop their heads further over the parapet. I can guarantee it!
Fairy Hanny 