It still makes me smile when I see the road sign indicating Beware of Camels! On my way into the city I have to travel along some back roads and a long dual carriageway, all surrounded by open land. The local farmers have various herds of camels that seem to just wander freely around the area, though I am sure there must be some kind of stables for them at night.
Anyway the camels literally just roam about, eating whatever green stuff they can get hold of, and that includes just randomly crossing the roads. It’s always interesting when you notice the cars ahead slowing down and putting their hazard lights on because there are camels in the road!
Yesterday they were all out, camels, donkeys and goats!
Which reminds me, some of my errant year 7 kids were back in today, having taken a few days off last week as they thought school finished with the last exam. Marvin and Soft Lad are always a source of amusement, whether they mean it or not. They sit next to each other and have done all year – better to keep them like that as they are both incredibly weak academically, though Soft Lad has the odd flash of inspiration. Anyway Soft Lad is right-handed and Marvin is left-handed, but they insist on sharing a desk with Marvin on the right and Soft Lad on the left. So they are always bumping elbows when they write. I have been telling them to swap places since September last year, however they forget and end up with a minor tussle every lesson.
Today they came in as disorganised as ever. Soft Lad didn’t have his notebook, pen, or pencil. So I sorted him out with what he needed and got him going. I have no idea where his head was today and it certainly wasn’t in the Maths classroom. He was probably out in the Universe like a space cadet. His paper ended up looking like a collection of Egyptian hieroglyphics, interspaced with scribble and weird shapes. When I asked why he just stared at me, as though I was somehow at fault for having the nerve to question him.
Meanwhile Marvin was looking everywhere but his paper or the textbook. Some of the other kids started to complain that Marvin was staring at them, so I moved to the front corner of the room and said Marvin can now stare at me – and he did.
For some reason Bing and Bong were in school today and they were added to the year 9 group to follow that timetable for the day. Needless to say the nutty twins disrupted all learning for their adopted class. Those idiots don’t need to come to school, they could easily be sitting at home playing with their Nintendo’s.
I had to do a cover lesson with year 8 in a Biology lesson. The topic was The Human Skeleton. I decided to start the lesson with a question – where is the smallest bone in the human body? Well Stubby, an English kid living here with his Dad who works in the Oil Industry, burst out laughing. He could not control his laughter so I sent him out of the room for 5 minutes to calm himself down. Once the rest of the class were working, I went out to chat with him to see what was so funny.
“It was your question!”
“What?”
“About the smallest bones in your body,” he smirked.
“Why is that funny?”
“Because they’re in you thingy!” he laughed.
I was puzzled for a moment. Then I understood.
“Stubby there aren’t any bones in a penis,” I stated in a very teacherly manner.
He glared at me and put his hands on his hips.
“Then why do they say you’ve got a boner?” he asked.
Then I was the one suffering from uncontrollable laughter.
Oh the misconceptions of children!
Fairy Hanny 