Gathering Grapes to drink one night.
Oh what can ail thee Lana Scan?
Alone and palely loitering?
Come and sit beside the Lake,
And listen to me sing.
“Heaven knows when I might see,
A Monkey in The Banyan Tree,
Coming down to look at me
Offering a cup of tea.
“In times gone by I used to cry
As Camel boys spat in my eye.
Now I feel with an awesome sigh,
Thank God those days have passed me by.
“Then I think upon this Great Globe,
Suspended from my earlobe
Is a painful Periodontal Probe,
And a man dressed in a bloody Thobe.
“It gets me up, it gets me down,
The stairways in this cold Town.
Seventeen Baboons, a horse and a Clown,
It makes Commuters stop and Frown.
“I wonder at the sycophants gall,
Who lied his way into the Ball,
I’ll ask a Gibbon, lean and tall,
To smash his Head against the wall.
“Then came an Ass , an erstwhile Leader,
I said he’s just a fucked up Bleeder,
Duplicitous bastard – Journal Reader,
Definitely a Bottom Feeder.
“Six times a day I’m out of my class,
Gathering paper to shove up my Ass.
Those Work Generators totally Crass;
Dossers have reached a Critical Mass.
“None can touch me, Old and Wary,
Not even Fat Bum, big and hairy,
We zipped through the trees – very scary,
Some kids and us; Peter and Mary.
“And just this week the World went Moony,
Inflated egos rap till Noony.
But I don’t care because I know soony,
I’ll share some wine with a Fairy loony.”
And so sweet Lady in the Meads,
Full Beautiful – a Fairy Child.
Come buy a beer, any kind;
Lager, Bitter or even Mild.