A very smelly news item. A Brazilian company said Wednesday it was bringing to market a garlic capsule designed to tackle flatulence. “This garlic oil is rich in antioxidants and deodorants and combats intestinal dysbiosis, a colon malfunction that increases flatulence,” Polias chemist Joseth Gimenes told AFP. Garlic itself is renowned for giving off aContinue reading “The answer is blowing in the Brazilian Wind – another fart story”
Author Archives: Phoenix
Organic Salt
I kid you not. She came home with this. “I’ve bought organic salt” “Not possible.” “It says so on the packet!” “Then someone is lying. Salt is a compound of Sodium and Chlorine, neither of which could be described as organic.” “But it is made in France! From the sea!” “You mean it is rockContinue reading “Organic Salt”
Online Pharmacy – Pure Gibberish
I am forever getting emails for Viagra and penis enlargement. Someone has clearly been spreading rumours (that’s all that gets spread these days…) But here is a fantastic advert – love it… “fifteen-story Yurkovsky, December for with realized was I was knew examined front by the his a took the Scales.” Olympic, in was inContinue reading “Online Pharmacy – Pure Gibberish”
Church Newsletters
I found this whilst trawling… The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’ ————————– Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ————————–Continue reading “Church Newsletters”
Bankers…
I went to talk to my bank to transfer some money to Blighty. “It’s much easier to do if you go online” said the helpful girl. “Yes but I can’t log in, and I need to send some money to Blighty” “Why can’t you log in?” “I don’t know why – it just says ‘accountsContinue reading “Bankers…”
I have a gentle cock.
Marvellous title for a 15th Century poem/lyric. I had no idea anyone would be so enamoured of a farmyard fowl. I Have a Gentle Cock I have a gentle cock, Croweth me day; He doth me rysyn early, My matyins for to say. I have a gentle cock, Common he is of great; His combContinue reading “I have a gentle cock.”
No shit Sherlock
And so it came to pass, alack and alas, that I have an ex. Bless her. She used to be a Bobby; a WPC when that wasn’t un-PC. And fond of a Bobby’s helmet. She once said to me – “You’re different when you’ve been drinking.” I said – “You never did make Detective didContinue reading “No shit Sherlock”
Singing Fish
I bought a fish that sings. It is a Choona Fish.
What is a Hanny?
“What’s a Hanny?” asked Daisy as she checked out this blog. “Actually Fairyhanny is a Spoonerism,” I explained. “Like a toast to the Queer Dean instead of the Dear Queen.” “I don’t get it?” So I tried again. “Would you like to show me your toolkits?” “Are you a smart fella?” I even got herContinue reading “What is a Hanny?”
Sometimes you have to laff
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square, Just a square cut punt. It’s round in the stern and blunt in the front. Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
Fairy Hanny 