Long summer break. Very lazy with posts. Spent all of my writing time editing my latest fantastically hilarious book featuring the voluptuous Fairy Hanny. “Trans Uranic Elements: The Dark Side of Uranus.” will be available via Amazon as a Paperback or Kindle version before the end of the year. Love and kisses, Swifty
Author Archives: Phoenix
Istanbul 1 : Getting Lost and finding Old Friends.
Atatürk Airport 9.30 pm on a Saturday night. Check papers, work your way through customs, throw off the term spent in Kazakhstan. Greeted by an old friend and guided to his Gaff. Meet the charming new partner; fantastic dinner with lovely wine. But then out in the City by midnight looking for a bar thatContinue reading “Istanbul 1 : Getting Lost and finding Old Friends.”
The sayings of DC Jason Beaver
Sadly young Beaver is not the smartest detective at the picnic. He misquotes though I’m not sure if it is deliberate or not… Water off a Dutch back. No pockets in a crowd. Daft as a bush. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him think. Too many cooks spoil theContinue reading “The sayings of DC Jason Beaver”
On First encounter with Rumi.
Sitting, watching, pondering, wandering. Istanbul bookshops and bizarre bazaars; favourite city, Oozing my childhood testament from every pore, City battered and beaten and rocked to its core. “Simon! Simon! Phillip wants your money, pay up or die!” Armies marching, marching, marching; did you hear that Mr March? Constantinople; Byzantium; Istanbul. Three Cities in One, likeContinue reading “On First encounter with Rumi.”
Woman with big Beaver
Malaysian man comes up short after buying £100 penis enlarger online… but gets sent a £5 magnifying glass with warning ‘Do not use in sunlight’
A vain Malaysian man who ordered a penis enlarger online was stunned when the device was delivered – a magnifying glass! To add insult to injury the magnifying glass came with an instruction that would at least prevent the man from causing injury to himself. It read: Do Not Use in Sunlight. The victim ofContinue reading “Malaysian man comes up short after buying £100 penis enlarger online… but gets sent a £5 magnifying glass with warning ‘Do not use in sunlight’”
Have a Great Life
I want to thank my friends at the Crack On Foundation for this one. http://www.crackon.org Here are four strategies to help you live an exceptional life: 1. CHOOSE THE COMPANY YOU KEEP – CAREFULLY. Those around you always influence and have an effect on your state-of-mind and feelings. The fact is: part ofContinue reading “Have a Great Life”
Am I blue?
Another excerpt from “Dark Side of Uranus”
And what of Fairy Hanny? Well it will be of no great surprise to realise that this stoic Handmaiden of the Fat King Innocent carried on regardless. She would have preferred to carry on cruising with her cousin Mutch; however she’d accept she would have to carry on camping with this bunch of retards. TheContinue reading “Another excerpt from “Dark Side of Uranus””
Fairy Hanny 