Bearded Clams

I found this story recently, about British Scientists.

When a clam was dredged up from the bottom of the sea of Iceland, a team of scientists eagerly cracked it open – killing the oldest animal in the world.

The mollusc was 507 years old – when it was born, Michelangelo was just about to start work on the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

The clam has previously been thought to be a mere 400 years old – that alone won it a place in the Guinness Book of Records, beating its previous holder by some margin, a 220-year-old Arctic clam found in 1982 in American waters.

It was dredged up in 2007, and the scientists admit they simply miscounted its rings – but their initial error makes the clam dubbed “Ming” an even more impressive discovery.

Personally I’d be much happier finding a 25 year old bearded clam.

Spooky life

Faithful_Poynter (2)

When I was a kid I used to visit the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool. This was one of my favourite paintings. I used to stand in front of this magical picture for ages, trying to imagine what it must have been like in Pompeii as the City disappeared.

The painting is called  ‘Faithful Unto Death’ by Edward John Poynter. I know it is a rather romanticised image… I have worked with modern day soldiers and most would just fuck off in this situation!

Anyway the spooky thing is, I recently found the motto for my family name.

‘fidelis ad urnam’

Faithful until death…

The answer is blowing in the Brazilian Wind – another fart story

A very smelly news item.

A Brazilian company said Wednesday it was bringing to market a garlic capsule designed to tackle flatulence.

“This garlic oil is rich in antioxidants and deodorants and combats intestinal dysbiosis, a colon malfunction that increases flatulence,” Polias chemist Joseth Gimenes told AFP.

Garlic itself is renowned for giving off a pong of its own.

But Gimenes insisted that the garlic capsule is mainly released in the intestine and does not rise back into the mouth, even though the digestion begins in the stomach.

“Hence there is no risk of bad breath,” she added.

Gimenes said the company was targeting 15 percent of Brazil’s 200 million inhabitants estimated to be suffering from intestinal dysbiosis.

The company hopes eventually to eventually export the remedy, which costs 40 reais ($20) for 120 capsules.

Organic Salt

I kid you  not. She came home with this.

“I’ve bought organic salt”

“Not possible.”

“It says so on the packet!”

“Then someone is lying. Salt is a compound of Sodium and Chlorine, neither of which could be described as organic.”

“But it is made in France! From the sea!”

“You mean it is rock salt?”

“Yes. Organic.”

“You have SFB.”

“What is that?”

“An organic substance between your ears.”

“Really?”

“Yes – Shit For Brains!”

It didn’t go down well…