Phoenix

Social Farting

Makes as much sense as Social Smoking! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rIj2DWQRdw

Ancient Onanists – of course.

So were the Ancient Chinese soldiers really Onanists? And it looks like a couple have pulled the head off!

I found this story recently, about British Scientists. When a clam was dredged up from the bottom of the sea of Iceland, a team of scientists eagerly cracked it open – killing the oldest animal in the world. The mollusc was 507 years old – when it was born, Michelangelo was just about to startContinue reading “Bearded Clams”

Spooky life

When I was a kid I used to visit the Walker Art Gallery in Liverpool. This was one of my favourite paintings. I used to stand in front of this magical picture for ages, trying to imagine what it must have been like in Pompeii as the City disappeared. The painting is called ‘Faithful UntoContinue reading “Spooky life”

The answer is blowing in the Brazilian Wind – another fart story

A very smelly news item. A Brazilian company said Wednesday it was bringing to market a garlic capsule designed to tackle flatulence. “This garlic oil is rich in antioxidants and deodorants and combats intestinal dysbiosis, a colon malfunction that increases flatulence,” Polias chemist Joseth Gimenes told AFP. Garlic itself is renowned for giving off aContinue reading “The answer is blowing in the Brazilian Wind – another fart story”

Organic Salt

I kid you not. She came home with this. “I’ve bought organic salt” “Not possible.” “It says so on the packet!” “Then someone is lying. Salt is a compound of Sodium and Chlorine, neither of which could be described as organic.” “But it is made in France! From the sea!” “You mean it is rockContinue reading “Organic Salt”

Online Pharmacy – Pure Gibberish

I am forever getting emails for Viagra and penis enlargement. Someone has clearly been spreading rumours (that’s all that gets spread these days…) But here is a fantastic advert – love it… “fifteen-story Yurkovsky, December for with realized was I was knew examined front by the his a took the Scales.” Olympic, in was inContinue reading “Online Pharmacy – Pure Gibberish”

Church Newsletters

I found this whilst trawling… The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’ ————————– Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ————————–Continue reading “Church Newsletters”

Bankers…

I went to talk to my bank to transfer some money to Blighty. “It’s much easier to do if you go online” said the helpful girl. “Yes but I can’t log in, and I need to send some money to Blighty” “Why can’t you log in?” “I don’t know why – it just says ‘accountsContinue reading “Bankers…”

I have a gentle cock.

Marvellous title for a 15th Century poem/lyric. I had no idea anyone would be so enamoured of a farmyard fowl. I Have a Gentle Cock I have a gentle cock, Croweth me day; He doth me rysyn early, My matyins for to say. I have a gentle cock, Common he is of great; His combContinue reading “I have a gentle cock.”