Well it has been a little while. I have not been idle but my Fantasy writing fell behind.
My day job is Full Time Teacher of Mathematics and we have been extra busy with this, as we are a new school in Morocco! Part of my life plan was to travel so when my sons grew up I started – I´ve now spent time teaching and travelling in Qatar, USA, Abu Dhabi, China, Kazakhstan, Spain and a lot of time in the UK!
I´ve also recently discovered a fantastic project for teaching young people about Finance in a very motivational method ie Learn about Finance and make money! Check it out here
However I am back to publishing the second book in the ‘Fairy Hanny’ series.
Here is an extract – enjoy –
Jolly boating whether or knot.
Carefully tucked away in a corner by a river near a development and a small hamlet on the outskirts of the great city of Setebos, home of King Innocent the most munificent King of the Fairies, lies the Magic Mushroom Farm of Sam and Janet Evening. It is a beautiful farm with trees and hedges, and birds that sing, and a flute that toots, and grass that shoots like some green, green grass from home, and tulips from Amsterdam, and partridges ensconced in a pair of trees, and cows that poop automatic fertiliser, and goats that choose cheese, and three packets of peas. There should be sheep that weep or pigs with gigs or Bulls with pulls or Ostriches that run fast. Maybe a petting farm for small children to be startled by goats farting and stunned by rabbits eating their own droppings and Guinea pigs that can fly.
I´d like a farm like this! Alas it is my lot to sit in a barren chamber somewhere between Casablanca and Barcelona.
On this very special day, the day we choose to start our Great New Adventure, the farm is manned by a charming pair of Elves who epitomise the expression lazy; they could become TV stars if ever there was a popular Saturday Evening programme with the imaginative title Bone Idol. They could be lazier than a teenager waiting for someone to find them a pen to finish the essay that horrible English teacher set – so unfair! Or lazier than a Sloth that sat amongst the rainforest treetops as it could not be arsed to climb down and have a shite. Or as lazy as a Tory who could not be bothered to engage with the taxpayers who pay for his fiddled expenses. Or as lazy as a journalist who couldn’t be bothered to get his facts straight. Or as lazy as a grandad who did not know how many sugars he took in his tea.
I digress again.
Actually the farm isn’t Manned – it is Elved!
Sam and Janet had inherited the farm from some Ancient Mariner who continually wrote rhymes, though why a Mariner should have a farm is hard to fathom. But you know these sailors who get up to all kinds of tricks. I once saw Francis Drake balance a snake on a rake while trying to bake a cake. And Horatio, Lord Nelson, had a farm near Ipswich, though that was just a convenient way to house his Fanny, whilst banging away at Lady Hamilton’s back door. Once on site Sam and Janet decided everything was so perfect that there would not be mushroom for improvement, so spent their lives devouring the contents of their erstwhile estate while employing teams of Elves to run the place. Of course the Mushroom part was just a particularly nice cover for the real purpose of this establishment; but we shall come to that eventually when the travellers are more settled and you are more familiar with the machinations and perturbations of Uranus.