
Crap Physics Joke

I still laugh at farts

It’s Giggle week – just jokes this week

The meaning of life!

Android in Spain
You called me, I came
Studio in Tenerife, inbuilt roaches
Sandy sandy sand
Towels and bowels and trowels.
I didn’t enjoy it
The long walk
All uphill against a tide of disinterest.
“Hey how are you doing?”
“Not that I care”
Karaoke embarrassment
“There must be one song you know”
I know lots but do not wish
To perform
Public
Hare Kari
That’s what she said but I missed it.
Time went forward and I looked backward
“Look at this beach!”
I burned my toes in the water
And on the hot sand
Unpronounceable name
It´s a Caravan!
A Caravanserai
Full of Oil
Full of port!
So to the peaks and the shanty town
“We´ll get rid soon, 007”
We need more space for the tourists!
I cycle to the Mall
Crammed my helmet in my pack
Nobody will steal it
Nobody wants it
Nobody wants me!
Christmas Cracker.
“Hey Santa, go over there!”
No laughter
Santa, bemused, sat in the rain dear.
No laughter.
Rudolf the well-read.
No laughter.
It was a joke, Christmas.
Winter solstice takes three days for the dead to rise
All hello’s Eve – Adam sends his best regards.
In Istanbul I plied my troth
Wishing for a Visigoth
To raid the City and tear apart
The Kazakh girl who stole my heart.
No beer, no wine, no women.
Humour!
Recovery!
Shoe shine for blue suede!
Walking home in the rain she declares her gratitude!
Haggia Sophia, Ayasophya, Blues, Sulemye.
Galata Bridge watching the hopeful,
Knowing the salesmen.
Sell fishing rods not fish!
Jesus said it, one Friday morning whilst eating a hamburger.
“I like this” she said
Stripping naked in the cold room
Sharing towels and body fluids.
Old blankets.
“I´m tired” she says, expectantly.
Six months later she is still sitting there.
The sun was never enough to warm her heart
Sandy sandy sand.
You could live here with me.
Sandy cold heart.
The tourists need me
They never really leave this
Place
Micro continent.
Clothes for sale, I cried
Who wants my bike?
Nobody came
Nobody cared.
Do you do home delivery?

When the word came from the East
It took my breath away
And left me with a coating of nostalgia.
Anonymous whinging
“It’s not true!” I declare.
“The customer!”
No, just you Morgana.
Quizas Quizas Quizas.
Friday Smile

Gibberish
I do find it hard to believe, but this is something I copied from a website. It was an attempt at selling me something…
”
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1
It’s much cheaper. With money you spend usually, you can buy 2-3 times more pills.
2
It’s confidentially. Nobody knows what you bought Viagra or pills for penis enlargment. Shipments come in discreet unmarked packages.
3
You don’t have to leave home. Purchase will be quickly delivered right to your door.
4
Nobody will disturb you. Read instruction for each product while sitting at your computer and select what you need. 
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Billy
I thought of you today, old friend
As they shouted out to eat the phone book
Do you remember coming home and finding me
Beneath the bed
Staring at the springs
Claiming to be totally sober
Long time since sober
I tried to tell you on your last dot com
But lost five years in replying
You were no longer there
Recalling days of innocence
Halcyon days-
I laughed with Luke a I mispronounced it
Most nights
Returning from the pub
With Kith and Bodge and Coley
We watched some late night TV
Now it never shuts down
If still we were there we would sit up all night and bore ourselves to sleep
You always
(despite denials)
pulled down on your nose
before dropping your shreds
Quaint we said.
So now a lifetime later I click in the ether
Dr. John told us it wasn’t there
But we try to speak through that which does not exist
Except through a go between
Civil servant trained super efficient waiting to be of service, Sir.
The old home town looks the same but smaller
(syndrome)
Tip of the iceberg
Double you double you double you Dot
Outside the Mexican beers line up
Playing for San Tiana
They’re killing your soldiers below
Is this my Alamo?

Never give up, never surrender

