Fairy Hanny

Where are you?

I went to Singapore; sorry I forgot to mention it!

And who will teach your classes?

That silly girl who has ignored you all!

She will be promoted soon as she is vacuous;

Just like the Boss and his cronies!

Who will check on her?

Who needs to?

The Boss came down from the mountains

Dressed in Damask and a thong of Gold.

His counterparts,

Suited and Booted,

Embarrassed shuffling for the school photograph.

“Sit down boy!”

But where do I sit and with whom?

“Just wear the Dunces hat and write one thousand lines”

‘I must not be a fool’.

The text went through to the Boss’ Lackey

Though he can’t read and never responds;

“I was dead for three days before you even noticed!”

“But you wrote your own eulogy; we know it was you!”

Catherine lost her job today,

Because the Boss went out to play,

Wandering aloud about the town,

So he didn’t have to watch his son go down.

You kicked me out without any fun!

Pay me! Pay me! Pay!

Third time lucky for the invertebrates.

The Chuckle Brothers came out to play at four,

But whinged when you went out of the door;

“She’s leaving early! Boo hoo!”

Then the paedophile screws up his courage,

To moan about women’s clothes.

“They should dress like neat little schoolgirls!”

He cries to his radical lover.

When winter comes, cascading elderly white amongst the youth,

Outcome the skiers,

Stupid hats, fat heads, dead, keen.

I am the Grand Old Duke of York!

Tosses his Pole to a Kazak;

Then any other girl he meets.

 

Thank God the sun refused to shine,

Or I might have thought I was loving you!

 

Walking into that same old trap,

heading for the same old crap,

Early mornings, afternoon nap,

A woman who could really sap.

 

Then out she came with the magic word,

Something I’m glad I just heard,

Something that made my fears end,

“Honey I just want to be your friend.”

(On being friend-zoned)

Teenage recollections.

You never really know do you Al?

Take a tip from someone who is blue now, it’s really easy.

It was a very nice evening you spent together , said the wind.

A final Kiss?

Bliss? Miss?

What exactly was that, Miss?

You want more?

Nil Satis (nisi optimum!)

Labore et tenacitate!

That was the great approach to developing a good?

Working?

Relationship?

She asked me for my ideal house,

My Tree,

My Sun,

My snake!!!

Psychobabble analysis.

“You’re just so normal

I will forget it.”

I left that day.

Closed my door.

Closed my heart.

Then searched for the next one to open.

 

 

 

Last night I had a weird dream.

I will recount what I can remember then interpret the meaning.

So in this dream…

I am in a suburban landscape moving carefully to avoid groups of marauding Zombies and Vampires. With the large number in this sweet suburbia it was impossible to move without detection and so I was constantly in conflict with one or two members of these murderous creatures.

The bizarre thing was my fighting always involved beating them off with very long heavy rods. The idea was to swing the rod as rapidly as possible and decapitate my assailants. This seemed to be working fine and I was making progress toward some kind of undefined safe haven. Then at one beautiful garden a whole troop of Vampires headed my way.

I ran as fast as I could, but felt they were gaining on me. Suddenly there was a canal so I jumped in knowing that Vampires can’t cross water. I moved as fast as possible and escaped across the canal being chased by water borne Zombie rats.

As I recovered my breath on the other side I was attacked by a lone Zombie dressed as a Headmaster. As I spun to quickly take off its head I found myself face to face with a Vampire Priest…

At this point I awoke drenched in sweat with my heart racing.

So what does it all mean?

Well over the last few years my life has been in constant conflict with my ex-wife and her lawyers, and the idiots that run my school. So it’s easy to see what the dream was about.

Vampires – the blood sucking lawyers who will soon be cut down by the Law Society for running a confrontational action and lying about me.

Zombies – the empty headed, unqualified, inexperienced, narcissistic talentless management that haunt my days. The want to drain me of knowledge as they have none. Again they will be decapitated in the International Media.

Zombie rats – my so-called friends who live in the arseholes of the managers in the belief they will be given a promotion.

Either that or I’m just fuckin Nuts…

 

 

What the feck have I been reading recently?

War of the Worlds by H.G. Wells – old Physicists joke… where do you get mercury from?

Hg wells…

The Bastard of Istanbul by Elif Shafak – reminds me of my old friend Chris

After Hitler by Michael Jones – Europe is still recovering

The Middle East by Bernard Lewis – 2000 years of History which is almost all about the rise of Islam

The Stanier Pacifics of the LMS by Cecil J. Allen – a history of steam engines, published in 1950 at 3/6

Extreme Risk by Major Chris Hunter – a life fighting bomb making terrorists

 

And I forgot

Rumi – selected poems