Jokes – Page 12 – Fairy Hanny

Bearded Clams

I found this story recently, about British Scientists. When a clam was dredged up from the bottom of the sea of Iceland, a team of scientists eagerly cracked it open – killing the oldest animal in the world. The mollusc was 507 years old – when it was born, Michelangelo was just about to startContinue reading “Bearded Clams”

The answer is blowing in the Brazilian Wind – another fart story

A very smelly news item. A Brazilian company said Wednesday it was bringing to market a garlic capsule designed to tackle flatulence. “This garlic oil is rich in antioxidants and deodorants and combats intestinal dysbiosis, a colon malfunction that increases flatulence,” Polias chemist Joseth Gimenes told AFP. Garlic itself is renowned for giving off aContinue reading “The answer is blowing in the Brazilian Wind – another fart story”

Church Newsletters

I found this whilst trawling… The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’ ————————– Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ————————–Continue reading “Church Newsletters”

I have a gentle cock.

Marvellous title for a 15th Century poem/lyric. I had no idea anyone would be so enamoured of a farmyard fowl. I Have a Gentle Cock I have a gentle cock, Croweth me day; He doth me rysyn early, My matyins for to say. I have a gentle cock, Common he is of great; His combContinue reading “I have a gentle cock.”

Singing Fish

I bought a fish that sings. It is a Choona Fish.

What is a Hanny?

“What’s a Hanny?” asked Daisy as she checked out this blog. “Actually Fairyhanny is a Spoonerism,” I explained. “Like a toast to the Queer Dean instead of the Dear Queen.” “I don’t get it?” So I tried again. “Would you like to show me your toolkits?” “Are you a smart fella?” I even got herContinue reading “What is a Hanny?”

Sometimes you have to laff

Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square, Just a square cut punt. It’s round in the stern and blunt in the front. Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.

What’s love got to do with it? The formula for Happiness

I love Maths – but then I am an oddity. Does Maths make you happy? Well some guys have come up with what they call a happiness formula. For the Mathematicians, Physicists and Engineers – I know it’s not real Maths! HAPPINESS = (Mx16 + Cx1 + Lx2) + (Tx5 + Nx2 + Bx33) .Continue reading “What’s love got to do with it? The formula for Happiness”

Newtons First Law

For all of my Physicist friends

Afghans delighted to be counting their goats after the decline of the Taliban.

The people of Afghanistan have been celebrating in the streets as they regain a more liberal freedom. Counting is back on the menu after more than twenty years of the Taliban tally ban. “I deeply love my goats but until this week I didn’t know how many I had,” explained Mahmud Ghazi, 48, a goatherdContinue reading “Afghans delighted to be counting their goats after the decline of the Taliban.”