I found this whilst trawling… The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. ————————– The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’ ————————– Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. ————————–Continue reading “Church Newsletters”
Category Archives: Jokes
I have a gentle cock.
Marvellous title for a 15th Century poem/lyric. I had no idea anyone would be so enamoured of a farmyard fowl. I Have a Gentle Cock I have a gentle cock, Croweth me day; He doth me rysyn early, My matyins for to say. I have a gentle cock, Common he is of great; His combContinue reading “I have a gentle cock.”
Singing Fish
I bought a fish that sings. It is a Choona Fish.
What is a Hanny?
“What’s a Hanny?” asked Daisy as she checked out this blog. “Actually Fairyhanny is a Spoonerism,” I explained. “Like a toast to the Queer Dean instead of the Dear Queen.” “I don’t get it?” So I tried again. “Would you like to show me your toolkits?” “Are you a smart fella?” I even got herContinue reading “What is a Hanny?”
Sometimes you have to laff
Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt. Not a punt cut square, Just a square cut punt. It’s round in the stern and blunt in the front. Mrs Puggy Wuggy has a square cut punt.
What’s love got to do with it? The formula for Happiness
I love Maths – but then I am an oddity. Does Maths make you happy? Well some guys have come up with what they call a happiness formula. For the Mathematicians, Physicists and Engineers – I know it’s not real Maths! HAPPINESS = (Mx16 + Cx1 + Lx2) + (Tx5 + Nx2 + Bx33) .Continue reading “What’s love got to do with it? The formula for Happiness”
Newtons First Law
For all of my Physicist friends
Afghans delighted to be counting their goats after the decline of the Taliban.
The people of Afghanistan have been celebrating in the streets as they regain a more liberal freedom. Counting is back on the menu after more than twenty years of the Taliban tally ban. “I deeply love my goats but until this week I didn’t know how many I had,” explained Mahmud Ghazi, 48, a goatherdContinue reading “Afghans delighted to be counting their goats after the decline of the Taliban.”
Bank Robber
On Friday, A hooded robber burst into a bank and, at gunpoint, forced the tellers to load their cash into a plain brown bag. As the robber approached the door, one brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber’s face. Without a moment’s hesitation, the robber shot the customer. He thenContinue reading “Bank Robber”
Charming the ladies
I asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cosy little restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, ‘This is from the gentleman who is seated over there’….. and indicated me with a nod of his head. She staredContinue reading “Charming the ladies”
Fairy Hanny 