Phoenix

Tedious twats

This reminds me of how I feel when people put pictures of cats or their latest meal on Facebook!

Happy Man

Today I received my first royalty cheque for “Strange Things From Uranus”. That makes me a very happy man.

My knees are hurting so I thought of Spike Milligan “There are many diseases, That strike people’s kneeses, Scorflufus! is one by name It comes from the East Packed in bladders of yeast So the Chinese must take half the blame. There’s a case in the files Of Sir Barrington-Pyles While hunting a fox oneContinue reading “Scorflufus!”

Boss eyed

I used to date a cross-eyed woman but couldn’t stand it. I always felt she was looking at another man.

Creativity.

While changing planes at Charles de Gaulle airport, we had to board a bus to take us to the terminal. It pulled up to the building, everyone got off and stopped in front of an automatic door. Which automatically stayed closed. People started to pile up. They began to peer through the glass, look around,Continue reading “Creativity.”

11 of the World’s Oldest Breweries | Mental Floss UK

11 of the World’s Oldest Breweries | Mental Floss UK.

So I conclude I lost Christmas.

Happy is the man who is happy Sad is the man who is sad. And where did you get your oilskin coat It’s nifty and not too bad. I got it from a chap deep in the ground Whilst sojourning in Old Baghdad. So your Slothskin cap and mandolin Where you got them, can youContinue reading “So I conclude I lost Christmas.”

erase

I deleted her phone number. Her email address. Her Skype address. Everything. But I can’t delete her from my heart.

Hi Ho Silver

I was flying back to England on one of those antiquated planes beloved of Air Astana. Polite hello to my fellow passenger. “Hi” We eventually started a conversation. “I am a Physics teacher” “I’m a research Scientist” Wow! So what was her current area of research? Male sexuality. “Really?” “That must be fascinating!” “Yes. WeContinue reading “Hi Ho Silver”

Author Archives: Phoenix