4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

Do you ever get angry and then hate yourself for it?

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Everyone has their own little quirks. Things that make them irritated, frustrating, or downright angry. You could probably list your own triggers right now—little stuff like clutter or having to wait around. Maybe you can’t stand a particular word or phrase, or you find it impossible to work if there’s noise. The thing about triggers is that they’re often small things that tip you over the edge, and before you know it, you’ve lost your temper over something that in the scheme of things, doesn’t really matter.

Here are four steps you can take to manage your anger triggers better.

  • Take control

The first thing is to realize that you are totally in control of how you react. Work out what your triggers are, and you can take your power back. You can anticipate and plan for situations where you know you’re likely to blow your top.

  • Learn to read your body

Be conscious of how your anger manifests in your body. Likely your heart rate will go up, or your hands and jaw will clench. You might feel breathless or even get a stomachache. Tune into what your body is telling you, and you’ll learn to be able to stop the process of reacting. And remember the feelings themselves aren’t ‘bad’ but how you choose to respond to those feelings can be harmful, even destructive.

Instead of sweeping the papers off your desk onto the floor, or yelling, take a deep breath or go for a walk. Feeling triggered is often a result of low blood sugar, fatigue, or dehydration. Taking care of your physical needs can help you manage your emotional needs as well and make you more resilient to stresses and triggers.

  • Identify what triggered you

Once you can interrupt the trigger response, you can start to work out what it was that set it off in the first place. Did you feel disrespected? Unheard? Were you mistreated or misunderstood? If someone pushed in front of you in the coffee line, what did that signal to you? That your needs aren’t important?

What about if someone talks over you or interrupts in a meeting? As well as being rude, you could feel sidelined, humiliated even.

  • Choose your plan of action

Whatever your triggers might be, it’s totally up to you how you react. You can anticipate how you might feel and what you might do or say in response. Take a deep breath, detach from the situation, and focus on how you want to feel. You can choose to stay calm in triggering situations – it’s up to you.

8 Tips for Handling Frustration in a Healthy Way

Are you feeling frustrated? The Pandemic; No vacation; stuck at home; lost job; furloughed; can’t get anything done…

Chances are you’ve been here before. You’ve probably even worked out some coping strategies for when you’re stressed. The problem is, some of those strategies aren’t the best, a fact you’re already aware of.

Handling stress in healthy ways is an ongoing challenge.

That’s because when we’re frustrated, we tend to react rather than respond.

The good news is there are natural, healthy ways to deal with your frustration.

Accept It

The first step in dealing with anything is to accept the reality of it. Once you’ve acknowledged you’re frustrated, you can do something about it, and it no longer rules your life.

Send an S.O.S

Pretend you’re behind enemy lines and stuck there. You can ask for help, but you’ll need to ask for that help in a letter. Describe your distress, including all the details of how you got where you are. Ask for help. When finished? Destroy the letter. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel (and you might even get an idea for ‘rescue’ from the exercise).

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Make a List

What are your options toward fixing whatever is causing the frustration? List everything you can think of, even the silly ideas. Use this list as a jumping off point toward finding a solution.

Laugh

Read something funny. Watch a comedy. Tune in to your favorite comedian. The act of laughter releases endorphins in the brain, helping you to feel better and think more clearly. Frustration doesn’t stand a chance.

Look at the Big Picture

What will this frustration look like next week? Next month? Next year? Will it be as scary as it is today? Asking these kinds of questions helps you to put your frustration in perspective, making it smaller and easier to deal with right now.

Find Some Energy

Hang around people who are full of enthusiasm. Being around positive people helps you to remain positive and likewise energizes yourself. Frustration fades in this environment.

Socialize

Talk about what’s frustrating you with someone else or post it on your social media. You’ll find out very quickly that you’re not alone. More importantly, you’ll see other people who have successfully gotten past this very same point.

Focus on Something Else

Doing mindless, repetitive work helps to put your focus elsewhere. Break your frustrating task into tiny pieces and work each one with full concentration. Celebrate progress. Frustration gets lost in concentration.

There are dozens of ways to get past frustration. Experiment and find what works for you.

The key is not to give in.

Keep pressing onward.

You’ll get through this too.

7 Ways to Turn Worry into Excitement about Getting Things Done

Everybody worries sometimes. Right now, you’ve probably even got a few worries on your mind. You might be thinking about a relationship or a situation at work, causing you trouble. Maybe you’re worried about your health or whether or not you’re going to have enough money to pay the bills at the end of the month. Whatever the case, worry happens whether we intend for it to or not. This becomes a problem, though, when worry starts to take over your life.

So, what is the goal? Is stopping worrying enough to put you on an even keel, or are you hoping for something…more? What if, instead of worrying, you could become excited, then use this excitement to get more done?

Let’s look at seven ways to achieve this:

Be Here Now

Worry has a way of trapping you anywhere but here. Either you’re worried about something which happened long ago, or you’re caught up in fretting about something still to come.  Neither is going to get you anywhere. To stop worrying, you need to focus on the present. What interests you right now?

Realize This Gets You Nowhere Fast

Worrying stops you cold. In fact, most procrastination is caused by worrying. With this in mind, why are you wasting your time and energy on worrying? Sometimes just recognizing what a waste worry is, will be enough to derail it altogether. Especially when you have better places to be.

Throw Yourself into Something Interesting

Worry needs your attention to survive. Get busy doing something engaging to your mind, and you’ll find you forget all about worrying.

Rewrite the Script

If you’re seeing everything blow up around you, maybe you should try focusing on the perceived disaster. Ask yourself how you could do things to handle the situation were it to happen. Once you have it, practice the scenario in your mind. Picture yourself handling matters.

Practice

Worried about something you need to do later? Having a dress rehearsal in your head will make things go smoother and keep worry at bay entirely.

Ask

Challenge your worry. Dig in and get to the roots until you understand your worry intimately. Ask yourself where the negativity came from. Peel back the layers until you get down into the heart of the matter.

Try a New Path

In the end, worry can become very attached to the familiar. Challenge yourself. Find a different way to do things. Explore where this path takes you.

The main point in all of these is to enjoy the journey. This is where you find the excitement and enthusiasm, which leads to getting things done. The rest is all momentum and a whole lot of brand-new accomplishments just waiting to happen.

5 Self-Care Tips for Dealing with Stress when You Are Highly Sensitive

My partner is very stressed at the moment. There have been big changes in her life since the Pandemic set in. She lost her job, sold her car, pawned her jewellery… We are working toward reducing her stress levels and so I researched and edited theis blog post. I hope it helps others too.

Maybe you know that you are a highly sensitive person (HSP), or maybe you are starting to realize that you are feeling very sensitive about so much of your life. It is no surprise considering the current state of the world pandemic. There are basic choices you can make in your daily life to help yourself navigate the minefields of life.

  • Make Boundaries

Boundaries come in many forms. The first and most important is to make boundaries in your relationships. Surround yourself with people that do not create more stress for you. However, this also means letting those you love know when they are creating more anxiety in your life.

The second type of boundary is one of time and space. If you know that a jam-packed schedule will create tension in your day, do your best to plan your schedule to allow breathing room between meetings or activities. Or give yourself a lunch break away from people and places so you can reset.

  • Be Mindful
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Again, there are many ways to be mindful. You can be mindful of your schedule, but you can also be mindful of what you allow into your mind. Consider practicing meditation, either guided or on your own, or try yoga in the privacy of your own home. YouTube is a great place to find guided meditation and beginner yoga practices.

  • Areas of Relaxation

Create areas of relaxation in your life. Your home and office (if you have a private one), should be areas you feel comfortable, safe, and not triggered by anything. This can be soothing lights, sounds, and scents.

  • Self-Care

Self-care is more than pedicures, massages, and guilty-pleasure TV shows. However, if all those things help you relax, go for it! Self-care is as basic as eating nutritious meals that fuel your body and mind, drinking water, getting plenty of sleep. Also, not over-doing it on things that make your body go crazy like caffeine or sugary foods. Simple self-care can go a long way and help give you the energy to practice self-care in other forms, such as setting boundaries.

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  • Know Yourself

You know what causes you stress, so do your best to avoid those. If you do not know what your triggers are, you should work at being more mindful, so you can find the pressure points. Consider keeping a journal and writing about your feelings when you are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. This may allow you to uncover what is causing the tension and you can avoid those in the future. Knowing yourself and your triggers will allow you to better achieve the first four tips in this article so you can be your best self.

Being a highly sensitive person is nothing to be ashamed of. It merely means you need to know yourself a little better and take steps to prepare yourself every day. Through the process of learning to better care for yourself, you may just find that you are stronger and more resilient than you thought.

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6 Powerhouse Tips for Using Positive Affirmations

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So we are all in a mess.

Pandemic.

Finance.

Wellbeing.

Hopelessness.

Brexit.

Politics.

Let’s look at a few ways of getting a bit more positivity back into our lives. I have a series of posts aimed at Boosting each and everyone of us. Let me know if it helps.

You’ve probably heard that affirmations can help you be more motivated and successful in meeting your goals. But did you know that there are some ways you can supercharge your affirmations to make them even more powerful, even transformative?

Say you want to lose weight and get fit. If your affirmation is “I will lose weight and go to the gym every day,” how does that make you feel? There’s a heaviness in the energy of that statement that’s not very motivating. It focuses on the negative aspects of your goal (the need to lose weight and the obligation to go to the gym) and pushes the goal out into an indefinite future.

You can use these five steps to turn your affirmations around and make them high energy and motivating.

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  • Make your affirmations active

Using active verbs keeps the energy upbeat and your focus in the present moment. So now your affirmation starts “I am [positive verb] …”

  • Include Positive Emotions

Think of how you want to feel when you reach your goal. Are you happy? Proud of yourself? Relaxed? Grateful? Make sure your affirmation makes you feel good when you say it out loud.

  • Keep it Short

Make your affirmations brief and memorable. Concise, focused statements are easier to remember.

  • Stay in the Present

Your affirmation should always be in the present tense. Make sure you use “I am” rather than “I will” statements.

  • Keep it Positive

Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Think of the positive result you want to achieve.

  • Switch up Your Affirmations

Have a look at your current affirmations and see if they are working as well as they could be. In the example above, you could refurbish it into something genuinely motivational.

Instead of “I will lose weight and go to the gym every day,” let’s make it something that will make you feel good.

“I am enjoying getting slimmer and fitter every day.”

“I am feeling stronger and healthier by choosing a healthier lifestyle.”

“I am joyfully and easily helping my body to get stronger and slimmer every day.”

Play around with the words until they feel right for you. Just keep your affirmation in the present, focused on what you want and what feels good.

Repeat your affirmations at least three times a day and look forward to manifesting the life you want.

Stay Strong and Happy in these Tough Times

Someone

Well I am starting the weekend waiting for the results of a Covid test. I am sitting alone in my apartment in Baku and this song came to mind…

Someone.

Someone, I’m searching for someone
Who’ll be true, who’ll change my life of blue
Into a dream of golden rainbows, where are you?

It seems I’ve been searching,
Searching more than just one lifetime.
My heart is a magnet all for you,
I’ll know you when I see you.
Within my heart is carved
A sculpture of your love

Life is worth less than nothing without love.
Love is the force from which all beings live.


Don’t you see?
It’s the purpose of living to love
And be loved again and again.

Where are you?
My heart cries for you.
My eyes long to see you.
My soul is all for you.
Oh, where are you, someone?

Don’t you see?
It’s the purpose of living to love
And be loved again and again.


Where are you?
My heart cries for you.
My eyes long to see you.
My soul is all for you.
Oh, where are you, someone?

Songwriters: Nigel Philip Lowis / John Ignatius Mclaughlin

Someone lyrics © BMG Rights Management