Author Archives: Phoenix

Malaysian man comes up short after buying £100 penis enlarger online… but gets sent a £5 magnifying glass with warning ‘Do not use in sunlight’

A vain Malaysian man who ordered a penis enlarger online was stunned when the device was delivered – a magnifying glass! To add insult to injury the magnifying glass came with an instruction that would at least prevent the man from causing injury to himself. It read: Do Not Use in Sunlight. The victim ofContinue reading “Malaysian man comes up short after buying £100 penis enlarger online… but gets sent a £5 magnifying glass with warning ‘Do not use in sunlight’”

Have a Great Life

I want to thank my friends at the Crack On Foundation for this one. http://www.crackon.org Here are four strategies to help you live an exceptional life:   1. CHOOSE THE COMPANY YOU KEEP – CAREFULLY.   Those around you always influence and have an effect on your state-of-mind and feelings. The fact is: part ofContinue reading “Have a Great Life”

Another excerpt from “Dark Side of Uranus”

And what of Fairy Hanny? Well it will be of no great surprise to realise that this stoic Handmaiden of the Fat King Innocent carried on regardless. She would have preferred to carry on cruising with her cousin Mutch; however she’d accept she would have to carry on camping with this bunch of retards. TheContinue reading “Another excerpt from “Dark Side of Uranus””

More singing Fish

As our explorers heave to off the coast of Flaw Reader, we are introduced to Steven who runs a Fish and Chip shop much-loved by the Witches, Ogres and other unsavoury characters. Steven was originally a purveyor of fine Fish in Chips in Aldeburgh, Suffolk, but due to a mishap as the Witch Iz playedContinue reading “More singing Fish”