Covid – wow!

I didn’t realise the longer term effects it could have. I haven’t written or published anything on my blog in the two months since I had it. Always tired and lacking focus. Now is the time to ‘get back in the saddle’.

I still remember the start. Friday 2nd April I went out with some friends – there were five of us in all. We went to a restaurant, then to the rotating bar at the Baku Hilton (I live on the next block), then on to a pub close to me. In the next week 4 of us were diagnosed with Covid, and with me being by far the oldest, I suffered the most.

Where did we contract it? In one of the bars?  Did one of us already have it? How come 4 out of 5? Maybe the 5th person was an asymptomatic carrier?

It doesn’t matter.

Putting it into perspective of other respiratory ailments I’ve had in the past; it was a lot worse than flu but not as bad as pneumonia – that one almost killed me! At the worst point my temperature was up at 42° C and my lovely lady was cooling me with a mix of cold water and vinegar, and I was raving on about something – I don’t really remember this. Then the doctor found I had kidney stones, so for 5 nights a paramedic came to my home and administered a drip to help break the stones down.

Meanwhile my school was still operating online classes. I know that each day I was typing instructions for my classes into Google Classroom, though I didn’t have the energy to go into Zoom lessons. Nobody was tasked with covering my lessons, which led to a complaint from one parent. When I went back onto Zoom in the second week I had to laugh at my own on screen image – totally white face, sunken cheeks and bags under my eyes.

As I recovered it was time for reflection.

I still love teaching but I have had enough of schools. Too much data being recorded and analysed by people who should really be in the classroom teaching! And attitudes have changed. In my early days as a teacher I made mistakes and fought to control classroom behaviour and I could always rely on backup from senior staff. These days when kids misbehave we are just told it’s because we are bad teachers. Meanwhile those dishing out that useless advice sit in quiet offices looking at spreadsheets…

I decided to quit and head home to Liverpool. I started teaching in September 1981 so forty years has been good!  I’ve taken time out for various reasons over the years (I missed 10 months when I had a horrible motorcycle accident and came close to having my right leg amputated – thank God for the skill of NHS surgeons). I spent a lot of time teaching in the UK though the last 15 years has been spent on contracts in Qatar, Abu Dhabi, China, Kazakhstan, Azerbaijan, Gran Canaria and Morocco. It has been fantastic fun – I just don’t want to do it anymore!

My reflections took me back to reading a couple of classics to help me re-focus my ideas. I am working my way through ‘Think and Grow Rich’ and ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’. When I get back to UK I will get all of my books out of storage and the first one to the top of the pile will be ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’.

When I get back to ‘blighty’ I will work to open a Kumon tuition centre for several evenings a week. This will give me time to focus on something I have dallied with over the years – creative writing. I have the outline for about 9 books in my head, plus a book of poetry and several volumes of reflections on my teaching career, the latest of which has the working title ‘You’re welcome to Baku’! I will work on my blogs including some personal reflections, short stories, extracts from my novels, insights to Online Business and some edited PLR articles.

I have been impressed by the amount of support, follows and likes on my blogs. I hope to continue keeping you informed and entertained over the coming years.

The Benefit of Accepting Those You Don’t Like and How to Get Started

Let’s face it, you’re not going to like everyone.

Sometimes the feeling is mutual. We meet someone who just rubs us up the wrong way. You’re instant rivals, right down to the barely suppressed sneer and curled lip.

Other times it’s not quite so dramatic. You might be making every effort to build a relationship, but they’re just not having it. Or there’s some previous history standing in the way of a relationship with someone.

Whatever the case, there comes a time to let dislike go. Holding onto animosity, even something so subtle as not wanting to be around a certain individual at work only winds up hurting you in the end. In fact, you might be missing out on some hidden benefits by accepting someone you don’t like.

Intrigued? Read on to discover the why of it, and better yet, the how.

The benefits of accepting those you dislike are many:

  • Reduces stress caused by the tension within the relationship
    • Cuts down anxiety regarding what the other person will say or do
      • Frees you from destructive thought patterns regarding this individual
        • Allows you to enjoy your relationships fully without worrying about how someone will or won’t react

In order to get started, you only need to follow these three steps.

Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels.com

Address Any Fears

Frequently, when we dislike someone, it’s because they’re triggering us somehow. By looking deeper into the emotions being raised, and addressing them, you’ll be able to let go of a lot of the negativity you’re feeling toward them. This is especially true of fears, which have a way of looking like a lot of other things, such as dislike.

Let Go of the Anger

Much like fears, anger has a way of keeping up a pretense of hearty dislike. This is what happens when you let things fester, especially over something you’ve been holding onto for a while.

Pro tip? Try forgiveness.

Lay the past to rest between you and try accepting this individual now, in the moment.

Look for the Good in the Relationship

If you’re caught up in dislike, you might not have noticed there has been a positive impact on your relationship. Look for the things you’ve learned from the individual. Even harsh lessons have a way of guiding us onto new paths, benefitting us in the long run.

Sometimes we do ourselves a great disservice by hanging onto an immediate feeling of dislike for someone. As humans who grow and change, if we allow for it, relationships with those we don’t like can improve. Even if the connection never becomes stronger, accepting that the person is just the way they are will bring more peace into your life.

Rise like the Phoenix

7 Secrets to Stepping into Your Spirituality

In today’s world, it’s easy to neglect the spiritual. In our modern age, haven’t we evolved beyond the need for such things? I grew up in a very traditional Catholic household; Catholic schools, church, choir etc. I think I have an innate sense of Spirituality even though I no longer ‘practice’ my Religion. I still love sitting in Old Churches or Cathedrals, and thinking. I believe we all have that need to connect to our lives and our mortality.

What’s interesting as that the more we learn, the more we discover how important the spiritual aspect of our lives is. When you’re interested in bettering yourself and becoming what you have the potential to become, you have to address your inner self every bit as much as you do the trappings of your outward life. You discover your fundamental truths and learn just how much more there is to life when you accept the mystery and awe of knowing there’s something more to life than what you see with your own eyes. In short, you become complete.

How do you manifest this change and step into your spirituality?

Start with a Commitment to Change

You will never be able to embrace something so radical and new as your spiritual side without first making a firm decision along with a concrete goal regarding this path. Start with something simple, such as learning about spirituality by picking up a book or subscribing to a handful of blogs. Then commit to the task of reading these, and spending time thinking about the information you learn and what it means to you personally.

Question Things

Your first commitment dovetails nicely with this next one. Become curious. As you learn and discover questions you don’t have answers to, take action to find the answers. Follow rabbit trails, explore new paths. Go wherever your mind takes you and discover things you never knew about yourself before.

Practice Mindfulness

Whether you engage in prayer or meditation, take time to reflect, and find your inner peace.

Laugh

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Nothing does the spirit more good than laughter. By finding the funny side to things, we relax into who we are and stop taking ourselves so seriously. We engage with the absurd and recognize the universe has a sense of humour.

Take Care of Yourself

You can’t engage on a spiritual path if your flesh is weak.

  • Eat right.
  • Exercise.
  • Get enough sleep.

Don’t allow physical discomfort, pain, or illness to get in the way of your spiritual journey.

Pay Attention

When you experience coincidence, nudges, roadblocks, or sudden interests that feel like they are guiding your path, allow yourself to follow. Sometimes we’re given more guidance along the way than we realize. Learn to go with the flow and see where these divine nudges take you.

Friendships

Create a Tribe

Finding people of a like mind to travel with you will make your own journey more pleasant. You also will find companionship, mentorship, guidance, and encouragement along the way. We need people around us, and a group of like-minded individuals is a powerful thing to have.

Your spiritual journey doesn’t have to be complicated, especially as you start out. By taking these small steps, you’ll soon discover a world you never knew existed. Enjoy the journey, and the new you that you’re about to discover!

How Using Meditation Can Relieve and Decrease Loneliness

“Loneliness is just a word, So I’ve been told.

Loneliness becomes a world, that’s very cold.”

Chicago

Loneliness is an increasing symptom of modern life. As people have become more connected by technology, there’s less time to stay connected with friends and loved ones in real-time. That can lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

If you’re finding the 24/7 nature of life is making you feel isolated and lonely, consider adding meditation to your self-care. Meditation is beneficial in reducing feelings of loneliness, even if you only have short periods of time for practice.

How Meditation Can Help

Meditation is grounded in keeping you in the present and detaching from troubling thoughts and feelings. Instead of being overwhelmed by your feelings, you can learn to observe and acknowledge them.

By taking a moment to sit quietly, you can accept the thoughts and emotions you’re currently experiencing. Meditation helps you notice what’s in your mind instead of either blocking it out or getting stuck in it.

Instead of panicking when you start to feel lonely, you acknowledge what is in your world right now. Notice, acknowledge, and move on, so the cycle of negative thinking is broken, and you stay calm and in control.

How to Meditate

Meditation is easy to incorporate into your regular schedule. You don’t need to go to a temple or sit on a cushion for hours in silence, just find a few minutes in your day to focus on your breath.

Meditation can be practiced almost anywhere. A quiet place is good, but you can also meditate in a park or garden, even during your commute.

Here’s a straightforward practice to help you deal with loneliness.

Get as comfortable as possible. Sit or lie down and make sure you’re warm enough.

Take a deep breath in and out to center yourself.

Photo by Lachlan Ross on Pexels.com

Think of someone you love. This could be a family member, partner, friend, or pet.

Imagine they are sitting beside you.

Send them love, like a light shining out from your heart and enveloping them in a virtual hug.

Repeat silently or out loud May you feel love, joy, and peace, three times.

Now think of someone (again, a person or animal) who has shown you love and kindness.

Imagine they are beside you beaming out love straight at you.

Repeat three times (again silently or out loud) May I feel love, joy, and peace.

Feel the love surrounding you, both giving and receiving.

Repeat three times May we all feel love, joy, and peace. 

When you’re ready, come back to the present.

Practice this exercise as often as you wish, to tap into a feeling of love and kindness, and banish loneliness.

5 Tips for Getting Out of a Rut and Starting Fresh

If you feel like life has become predictable, unfulfilling, and boring, maybe it’s time for a fresh start. Deciding to make a change doesn’t mean you have to turn your life upside down, but it is an opportunity to stand back and revise your current way of life.

Whether it’s a lifestyle, location, or career change, there are some simple things you can do right now to get out of that rut and get some positive energy back into your life.

Photo by Vanessa Garcia on Pexels.com
  • Work out What Makes You Happy

Have you ever sat down and ruminated about what makes you happy? What lifts your spirits and puts a spring in your step? What makes your heart sing and your energy levels skyrocket? Some people feel happiest out in nature, while others prefer sports or reading. Maybe you love the arts or helping people. Make a list of what makes you happy and take action so you can focus on bringing more joy into your life.

  • Practice Saying Yes

Most people are so busy with the everyday life that they don’t make time to get out of their comfort zone and do something different. When was the last time you tried something new or challenging? Be open to new experiences, start saying yes to yourself, and choose to do things that feel good.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com
  • Make a Stop Doing List

Once you start saying yes to the things that feel good, you need to practice saying no. You need a stop doing list! You’re probably well aware of the bad habits you’ve fallen into and the things you do that don’t bring you joy. While there are some things you have no control over, see what energy-draining tasks you can eliminate from your life. Write a list to remind yourself of the things you can choose not to do, and free up time for the things that make your heart soar.

  • Declutter
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Most people have way too much stuff in their lives. Look around you right now and see what’s holding you back. Clutter includes spending hours scrolling through social media, limiting beliefs, and bad lifestyle habits as well as all that junk in the kitchen drawer. When I get to Liverpool in July I need to go to my storage department and see if I still need my collections of Action Man, Model cars, Trains, Vinyl, Books, CD’s and Stamps!

  • Say No to Fear

Perhaps the single most empowering thing you can do to get out of a rut is to walk away from fear. Fear will stop you from taking risks, big or small. It makes you too afraid to try anything new and holds you back from reaching your potential. I recently began seeing someone who has two children from a previous marriage. My friends say I’m crazy; I say it is a risk – a risk to be with a beautiful woman.

Make a commitment to yourself to take back control of your life and leap into a fresh start.

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4 Steps to Controlling Your Anger Triggers

Do you ever get angry and then hate yourself for it?

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Everyone has their own little quirks. Things that make them irritated, frustrating, or downright angry. You could probably list your own triggers right now—little stuff like clutter or having to wait around. Maybe you can’t stand a particular word or phrase, or you find it impossible to work if there’s noise. The thing about triggers is that they’re often small things that tip you over the edge, and before you know it, you’ve lost your temper over something that in the scheme of things, doesn’t really matter.

Here are four steps you can take to manage your anger triggers better.

  • Take control

The first thing is to realize that you are totally in control of how you react. Work out what your triggers are, and you can take your power back. You can anticipate and plan for situations where you know you’re likely to blow your top.

  • Learn to read your body

Be conscious of how your anger manifests in your body. Likely your heart rate will go up, or your hands and jaw will clench. You might feel breathless or even get a stomachache. Tune into what your body is telling you, and you’ll learn to be able to stop the process of reacting. And remember the feelings themselves aren’t ‘bad’ but how you choose to respond to those feelings can be harmful, even destructive.

Instead of sweeping the papers off your desk onto the floor, or yelling, take a deep breath or go for a walk. Feeling triggered is often a result of low blood sugar, fatigue, or dehydration. Taking care of your physical needs can help you manage your emotional needs as well and make you more resilient to stresses and triggers.

  • Identify what triggered you

Once you can interrupt the trigger response, you can start to work out what it was that set it off in the first place. Did you feel disrespected? Unheard? Were you mistreated or misunderstood? If someone pushed in front of you in the coffee line, what did that signal to you? That your needs aren’t important?

What about if someone talks over you or interrupts in a meeting? As well as being rude, you could feel sidelined, humiliated even.

  • Choose your plan of action

Whatever your triggers might be, it’s totally up to you how you react. You can anticipate how you might feel and what you might do or say in response. Take a deep breath, detach from the situation, and focus on how you want to feel. You can choose to stay calm in triggering situations – it’s up to you.

8 Tips for Handling Frustration in a Healthy Way

Are you feeling frustrated? The Pandemic; No vacation; stuck at home; lost job; furloughed; can’t get anything done…

Chances are you’ve been here before. You’ve probably even worked out some coping strategies for when you’re stressed. The problem is, some of those strategies aren’t the best, a fact you’re already aware of.

Handling stress in healthy ways is an ongoing challenge.

That’s because when we’re frustrated, we tend to react rather than respond.

The good news is there are natural, healthy ways to deal with your frustration.

Accept It

The first step in dealing with anything is to accept the reality of it. Once you’ve acknowledged you’re frustrated, you can do something about it, and it no longer rules your life.

Send an S.O.S

Pretend you’re behind enemy lines and stuck there. You can ask for help, but you’ll need to ask for that help in a letter. Describe your distress, including all the details of how you got where you are. Ask for help. When finished? Destroy the letter. You’ll be amazed at how much better you feel (and you might even get an idea for ‘rescue’ from the exercise).

Photo by Anete Lusina on Pexels.com

Make a List

What are your options toward fixing whatever is causing the frustration? List everything you can think of, even the silly ideas. Use this list as a jumping off point toward finding a solution.

Laugh

Read something funny. Watch a comedy. Tune in to your favorite comedian. The act of laughter releases endorphins in the brain, helping you to feel better and think more clearly. Frustration doesn’t stand a chance.

Look at the Big Picture

What will this frustration look like next week? Next month? Next year? Will it be as scary as it is today? Asking these kinds of questions helps you to put your frustration in perspective, making it smaller and easier to deal with right now.

Find Some Energy

Hang around people who are full of enthusiasm. Being around positive people helps you to remain positive and likewise energizes yourself. Frustration fades in this environment.

Socialize

Talk about what’s frustrating you with someone else or post it on your social media. You’ll find out very quickly that you’re not alone. More importantly, you’ll see other people who have successfully gotten past this very same point.

Focus on Something Else

Doing mindless, repetitive work helps to put your focus elsewhere. Break your frustrating task into tiny pieces and work each one with full concentration. Celebrate progress. Frustration gets lost in concentration.

There are dozens of ways to get past frustration. Experiment and find what works for you.

The key is not to give in.

Keep pressing onward.

You’ll get through this too.