Dealing with Change

I’ve been through so many changes over the last decade I’m no longer sure what day it is.

I’ve lived in Florida, Doha (twice), UK, Chengdu China, Abu Dhabi and Almaty Kazakhstan. Ten jobs, two wives and lots or gorgeous friends!

So when I saw this I had to share…

” How do you deal with change?

Most people hate change. Look at the worldwide uproar every time
Facebook or Empire Avenue do a little format change.

Here’s the interesting fact: If a change is seen as an ending, we
usually hate it.  (Losing a job, a program ends or even death.)
When change is viewed as a beginning, we usually like it.  (Getting
a new job, discovering a new restaurant, having a baby.)

But here’s the fascinating thing about that interesting fact…

In reality, EVERY change offers both an ending and a new beginning.
It is your view of the world – your perspective – that determines
whether or not you see that.

I was so depressed when the tax authorities seized my business.
But if that didn’t happen, I would still be slaving 14 hours a day
in a dead-end restaurant.  And I can truly say that about every
“bad” change that happened to me.

And so can you.

Just some of you don’t know it yet. But it’s true. Every change and
every challenge offers an opportunity…

If you’re looking for it.  Are you?

~ Randy Gage   http://www.randygage.com ”

IMG_1299

Science jokes

How Many Will You Get?

1. I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

2. I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

3. Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

4. Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.

5. Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

6. A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:
“What do we want?”.
“Time travel”
“When do we want it?”.
“Irrelevant.”

7. What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

8. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies “For you, no charge”.

9. Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:
“Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m positive.”

10. An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

hardon%20collider Maths problem

David Cameron

Thanks to Geoff Mac for this…

An Israeli doctor says:
“In Israel, medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man’s testicles,
put them on another man, and in 6 weeks, he is looking for work.”

A German doctor says:…
“That’s nothing, in Germany we take part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work.”

A Russian doctor says:
“Gentlemen, we take half a heart from a man, put it in another’s chest, and in 2 weeks he is looking for work.”

A British doctor laughs:
“You all are way behind us!
Five years ago,
we took a man with no brains, no heart, and no balls and made him Prime Minister.
Now, the whole country is looking for work!”

Kick up the arse

I need a kick up the arse!

I finished ‘Trans-Uranic Elements; The Dark Side of Uranus’ two months ago, but still haven’t got round to putting out a kindle version. Probably because I am too lazy to make a cover.

Though I am also working on ‘St. Nedds’ a school based story in which a Physics teacher gets his revenge on a Fuckwit Headmistress with the help of some Sloths and a Proboscis Monkey.

And then there are the three Inspector Flaange novels…

Scorflufus!

My knees are hurting so I thought of Spike Milligan

“There are many diseases,
That strike people’s kneeses,
Scorflufus! is one by name
It comes from the East
Packed in bladders of yeast
So the Chinese must take half the blame.

There’s a case in the files
Of Sir Barrington-Pyles
While hunting a fox one day
Shot up in the air
And remained hanging there!
While the hairs on his socks turned grey!

Aye! Scorflufus had struck!
At man, beast, and duck.
And the knees of the world went Bong!
Some knees went Ping!
Other knees turned to string
From Balham to old Hong Kong.

Should you hold your life dear,
Then the remedy’s clear,
If you’re offered some yeast – don’t eat it!
Turn the offer down flat-
Don your travelling hat-
Put an egg in your boot – and beat it!