Happy is the man who is happy Sad is the man who is sad. And where did you get your oilskin coat It’s nifty and not too bad. I got it from a chap deep in the ground Whilst sojourning in Old Baghdad. So your Slothskin cap and mandolin Where you got them, can youContinue reading “So I conclude I lost Christmas.”
Tag Archives: funny
Poop Police with whistles – what a wonderful world!
Children armed with whistles will soon be patrolling villages in central India to try to shame those defecating in the open, a report said Sunday. Madhya Pradesh state government is expected soon to launch the unusual sanitation initiative, in which schoolchildren will blow their whistles loudly when they spot someone squatting in the open instead of usingContinue reading “Poop Police with whistles – what a wonderful world!”
Ken and Wayne meet Mad Tom of Bedlam
An extract from ‘Trans-Uranic Elements; The Dark Side of Uranus’. Some fantastic jokes. ——————– The Elf’s took in the pair before them. Tom, his wild silver hair dancing the conga in its unkempt fiasco of styling, white linen slacks, his shirt a rich salmon pink exhibiting tiny images of stunning Art Deco pendulum clocks, longContinue reading “Ken and Wayne meet Mad Tom of Bedlam”
Police and Thieves (3)
So the third occasion I was robbed by the Police… Almaty; boozy night, walking home. Cross the street but didn’t quite get the lights right so had to run… … straight into the arms of the law! “Passport?” No Officer I don’t carry it because if I were to lose it I could be stuckContinue reading “Police and Thieves (3)”
I love Kazakhstan
Well I have been living here in Almaty since January and it is a beautiful place. It has the second best prettiest women in the world – Liverpool Judy’s always win. But I have to laugh at some of the names I have come across recently. There are ladies called Karlygash, Nazgul and Nurgul. PlusContinue reading “I love Kazakhstan”
Back again.
Long summer break. Very lazy with posts. Spent all of my writing time editing my latest fantastically hilarious book featuring the voluptuous Fairy Hanny. “Trans Uranic Elements: The Dark Side of Uranus.” will be available via Amazon as a Paperback or Kindle version before the end of the year. Love and kisses, Swifty
Malaysian man comes up short after buying £100 penis enlarger online… but gets sent a £5 magnifying glass with warning ‘Do not use in sunlight’
A vain Malaysian man who ordered a penis enlarger online was stunned when the device was delivered – a magnifying glass! To add insult to injury the magnifying glass came with an instruction that would at least prevent the man from causing injury to himself. It read: Do Not Use in Sunlight. The victim ofContinue reading “Malaysian man comes up short after buying £100 penis enlarger online… but gets sent a £5 magnifying glass with warning ‘Do not use in sunlight’”
Fairy Hanny 